The 6 Mindsets Holding You Back

And the Truths that Will Set You Free

I have poison ivy. Both arms. My stomach. And my ear. I kid you not. I have poison ivy on my ear lobe.

The reason? I love my wife.

look upinto the stars.

Earlier this week, she asked me if I would help her trim the landscaping in our back yard. Evidently – there is poison ivy back there.

When I do yard work, I binge-listen to podcasts. This week, I was listening to Michael Hyatt’s podcast – What if the Barrier’s Were Only in Your Head? It got me thinking about the things we believe in our minds.

Some of those beliefs are rooted in truth. Some are not. What we believe is true about ourselves has a tremendous impact on our performance. Our mindsets are rooted in truth, or they are rooted in a lie.

I saw my wife for the first time when I was 10 years old. We were in a youth choir at church. I believed that she would not be interested in me. She was/is beautiful. She sang/sings like an angel. She was/is a year older than me. I believed she was out of my league.

That belief held me back. I don’t think I said a word to her for years. I didn’t ask her out until I was 18 years old. That first date led to the worst first kiss ever (but that is a story for a different post).

In business, we have these closely held beliefs – rooted in lies – that hold us back. But you can overcome them and breakthrough by replacing these lies with the truth.

Here are 7 common mindsets that hold us back – and the truths that will break us free.

The 7 Mindsets that Hold Us Back

1. I’m too young – I battled this when I started my career in CRE. Why would anyone want to work with me when they could work with my father? The truth was I was hungry and eager to learn. I had a drive to achieve success. I had the time and energy to go the extra mile. And, though I didn’t know as much as those more senior to me, I knew where to find the answer. The same is true for you.

2. I’m too old – I think we often feel we are too young until the day we start to believe we are too old. We compare ourselves to those younger and more accomplished. Comparing is not good. The truth is you are experienced. You know how to navigate the mind fields that are so dangerous to the younger. You are more efficient and productive.

3. I’m afraid of the phone – There are those who are just naturals on the phone. They like to talk to people. But that isn’t me. I would stare at the phone and make the decision for my prospect before I called them. I was going to interrupt them. They would be annoyed with me. The truth is prospecting by phone is a skill to be learned. The more you master it, the more confidence you have.  The more confidence you have, the better results you will have. Weak on the phone? Improve the skill.

4. I’m not good at technology – I hear this all the time in Commercial Real Estate. “This is a relationship business.” “I would never replace prospecting with tweeting or LinkedIn.” The truth is technology can make us faster. It makes us more productive and efficient. It leads us to better results. Technology allows   us to prospect better. It should never replace prospecting.

5. I’m not good enough to be a top producer – The best have some special sauce with which they were born. I lack the personality. I lack the intelligence. I lack the experience. The truth is the number one factor that characterizes top producers is their tenacity. That’s right – not intelligence or personality. It is their perseverance.  Guess what? You can decide to be tenacious. You can wake up in the morning and choose to persevere. That is good news!

6. I don’t want to look stupid – Ugh – to be asked a question to which I did not know the answer. My personality values competency over just about anything else. I hated the idea that I wouldn’t know an answer – and then look stupid. The truth is nobody has all the answers. What your prospects and clients want is integrity, transparency, and for you to be authentic. Not knowing something makes you seem human. All you need to do is be dedicated to finding the answer.

So here is the question: what mindsets do you have that are holding you back? What is the truth that can set you free? I want to hear from you about what you are believing or what you have overcome. You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Thomas Songer III

    One thing that holds me back is the thought that I need to do something perfectly or don’t do it at all. Inevitably I end up not doing many tasks/things because of this mindset. This sort of goes with #5 in your list as there are a couple of other good CRE agents in my small market that are older than me and thus, I believe, are better agents. I actually have a lot of “real world” experience having developed/built/bought/sold/leased properties for my families portfolio for years. I know this and just need to be confident that this experience will benefit my clients.

    • I know how you feel, Thomas. Your experience is vast. Don’t forget that many brokers have never acted as a principal. This gives you a huge advantage in helping you connect with the problems and opportunities of your prospects. You’ve been there!

  • Thanks for sharing, Bo.

  • Mike Nelson

    Great topic Bo! Thank you for sharing!

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